The prospect of divorce has you on a roller coaster ride of emotions, along with giving you a long list of things to do. It is most certainly an overwhelming, stressful time for you and your spouse. What about the children? How does it affect them?
No doubt you have worried how your divorce will impact them. Much of it depends on their ages and maturity, but regardless of the circumstances, you can take the following steps to counteract the negative effects of divorce.
Avoid litigation if possible
No matter how you and your spouse feel about each other, hopefully you both want the children’s best interests and can act accordingly. This means staying out of court if you can. You can achieve a fair outcome for both you and the kids through mediation or negotiation. These approaches encourage cooperation and take less time and money than litigation does.
Keep children out of the battle
Anger, frustration and hatred are common feelings for divorcing couples. However, keep them in check to prevent acting on them inappropriately. One of the most detrimental things you can do is involve children in the battles with your ex. Do not ask them to decide which parent to live with, use them to get back at your ex or vent to them about your problems.
Practice emotional health
The best way to safeguard your children is through instilling in them emotional health. However, you cannot give your kids what you do not have. Take care of yourself through the following means:
- Go to individual counseling
- Exercise, eat healthy and get enough rest
- Spend quality time with family and friends
- Develop skills in mindfulness and self-compassion
- Focus on overcoming your own issues
- Participate in a creative outlet
Not only will these activities help you be better able to parent your children, but also your kids will see and follow your example. Your connection will improve, and your children will feel safe coming to you for support and advice.
For more information, contact Louis Wm. Martini, attorney at law.